Year end finality anxiety

I feel pretty good about my efforts to not get caught in the artificial and unhealthy holiday consumption cycle. Yet I still became aware of experiencing a growing sense of urgency as the year closes.

This perceived urgency is manifesting in my consciousness and somatic experiemce as mild anxiety. The source feels like the drive humanity has to bring the current western calendar to a close with definitive finality.

All these things need to get done before the year ends. We need to start the new year with a clean slate.

These needs drive us toward grasping some finality in something. Yet I reminded myself that time is somewhat an artificial construct in and of itself. For a great perception-bending exploration of time, I recommend reading Einstein's Dreams, by Alan Lightman.

I also reminded myself that January 2 comes and goes. Sometimes it's hard to rember that too, when faced with the massive New Year's Eve build-up and coundown.

Remembering these things is helping ease this year end finality anxiety for me. I don't feel this false sense of urgency so ugently anymore.

To me, that's worth celebrating, even if it's not 00:01 on January 1 2020 yet 🙂🙏🎉